Let My Goodness Pass BY!

My Goodness

Casually sitting on my love seat next to my wife, "licking our wounds" from the day's events; my open eyes beheld a stack of rocks. These rocks resembled those that I played on as a child.

This configuration remains to this day, near Paisano mountain, a few miles west of Alpine, TX. The rocks actually stacked up as high as a four story apartment building. I estimated that any one might measure the half the size of a bedroom. For instance, five people holding outstretched hands would barely encircle even one. These boulders stood five to twenty feet high and varied in configuration. They also "leaned" against each other leaving enough space between one another for a person to walk through the openings. As a kid a I explored in and out of these same rocks for hours while my Gram would paint the landscape. These were some of the fond memories of my childhood, ages 6-8 years.

After I identified the picture, a voice seemed tosay, "I am going to permit my Goodness to pass by, before you." The voice was a whisper. So quiet a whisper, I wondered, "If some one else had been talking, would I have heard the syllables at all, did I really hear it?." Additionally I thought; "I believe that phrase is written somewhere in the Bible. Oh yeah; it is found in Exodus where Moses was given the stone tablets, the ten commandments." These thoughts all passed through my head in a fraction of a second. After what seemed like a long minute, a hand reaching around from behind one of the huge rocks in the what appeared to be a vision. This scene developed upon small a ledge, only a few feet wide. What a narrow ledge, the thought rolled through my mind. Such a narrow step, one slip and a person might fall! First appeared the fingers, then the arm and next the torso of the body. The arms clearly had no coat, nor did the legs, as they came in view; have any pants. For a cloak He had, instead a very bright light. This Light was, as I looked at it, as bright as the arc welder flash. Having worked around such, I have trainied my eyes to look away so as not to be burned. Otherwise I am sure that bright spot would have damaged my eyes; it was that bright. This light danced around the person; having distinct colors. In spite of the brightness, there was discernable color. A bright and a pure white as it flowed like fire up in the direction of the head. It's color flashed so that it appeared to have an almost blue whitecolor. In the periphery of my eyes, the light also seemed to be alive. Glancing closer at the light; it also contained fire with various colors each "flowing" up. Each thread of color weaved around the others not unlike like the colored water from in a "rain run-off" formed from the trickle of a stream that will begin after a rain when the run-off flows down a muddy ditch. The colored water weaves into the clear and unaffected water of larger river not yet affected by the mud and rain. These colors of golden yellow, red, white, light blue and green (similar to teal,) danced up and around the person, almost to the head. It was then that I made two striking discoveries, One that the trunk of the "person" was larger proportionately than the extremities in a way not unlike my own grand father. Second, like him, this image of a man was not very tall. Relative to what I knew the rocks to be, he might have been 4'8" to 5'6". This shocked me because I would have thought such an able powerful person should be six to eight feet tall. He slipped around the boulder, He seemed to hug and then slipped behind so that in a moment, He vanished.

The whole feeling was not unlike sitting of an early morning; at the side of a small pool of water with no breeze and the surface; the water smooth as glass. There was such a complete sense of peace that a person could almost feel the residue of goodness. This Goodness had the texture of fresh homey; Pouring ever so slowly; folding over and around all that it touched and making all sweet in the process. I immediately shared the experience with my wife sitting right beside as it seemed that no words had been spoken between us for some time. At that time and immedately following, I didn't really understand how profound this little snippet of a vision would be or even more how it would affect my life. It has now been some days and that "sense of "Goodness" has pervaded the whole of my being. This feeling is not unlike incredible 'stillness' that happens inside a hurricane when standing between the two directions of the winds. I could not know that this sense of "Goodness" would roll into an all consuming desire, only leaving me to want for more. Just to BE with such a person who is so very good, is the most incredible; at once peaceful and powerfully explosive sense of well being I can imagine. As I think back upon this snapshot of eternity, my mind is a little "dazed," like I had bumped my head on something hard, so solid that it "just did not give." The surviving sense is similar to a person a little woozy from too much drink. I can assure no bump on the head or alcohol was cause of this once in a life time experience.

As I have meditated and walked out my daily life, I noticed something unusual about my 10 pound dog. He stands six inches from the floor and when I lean over I am always aggravated by a habit he has. If I bend over to snap his walking rope on his collar, he always bows down a little lower. In his effort to remain lower than my self, he seems to mbe uncomfortable remaining at my same level. This habit seems to be ingrained. This habit has also been characteristic in other dogs I have owned in past experience. He always wants to remain a little lower than my self; at all times, no matter what!. I began to think that if such a person as I saw stood in a room of people, they would all, in turn, kneel to a possessor of such Goodness. Out of honor and respect, in no wise fear, each would feel compelled to respond. If Goodness should sit in a chair of some kind, many would prostrate in order to keep the order in tact. If I think of a two thousand magnet like the one that picks up metal, it would not approach the drawing power of this Goodness, The paradox: I am at once both attracted and also respectful.

As I have noticed some middle eastern or Medeterrianian area men, at tiimes canbe be small of stature. Because the natural tendency of a people to become drawn to another like his own self, I can easily picture Abraham of old, to have been a man relatively small in stature. Can there be any wonder that a short man like Abraham might be chosen to "carry the torch" of God's rules and His Order. Later, Abraham's descendents would deliver the ten commandments, and subsequently the whole of the owner's operation manual. This one contained in the 613 laws also found in Leviticus, and Deuteronomy. In the vision there was absolutely no external pressure or word for me to kneel at the time. I was simply observing a scenario play out across the scene. It was only after that I became aware of what had happened. This is characteristic of me. At times the full effect of an experience or trauma does not become apparent to me for on average two days. It is something of a defense mechanism that I have developed over the years so that at the time of crisis, I may think clearly and rationally responding to the new facts in a reasonable way. I fully experience the event but hopefully at a later, safer time when lives will not be endangered by my responses.

In conclusion: this is what I saw, heard, experienced! At times the residue of , conflicting and confusing memories make it difficult to reconcile the things that I have seen and heard with the things that I had always thought to be true. . I have tried to understand and make sense of these differences during the intervening dayssince this vision. I have come woefully short. I also have tried to reconcile the various views of God that I have held over the years with a very different paradigm presented by this open vision. I do not assert that It was God which I saw, I simply do not know. Others before me have made this concept the major theme of their life: that He is a Good God. In an age where many call bad good and good bad, I have no explanation. For those who look at a thing they admire and in an effort to praise, they say that is so bad! I can not offer any help. Yet even so, God is a good who always God wants good (whatever is good, kind, true, pleasant, a good report, "to be praised," "to be desired!") For each person He seems to desire pleasantness. Love is like that!

My earliest child hood experiences lead me to think that of God as strong, severe, and unapproachable. This vision presented a very different image. Severe or Kind, He is Real and at some time each and every one of us will have to account for themselves. I hope that each person who reads this account will liberally cover him self with the Blood of Jesus to reconcile the Goodness that I saw with the "dirty here and now!" The natural consequence of seeing this bright light is to realize how dark I am. This also gives the feeling for me of being so very unworthy to stand or even remain in the presence of so great a presence. The courage is to realize that nothing that I could ever do would clean me up enough to be able to so stand, but that another has already paid the price for all my misdeeds.